What is the one thing Kristen and I do for our marriage every week?
It’s something we calendar, it’s something we plan for in advance, and it’s something we make a high priority in our marriage.
While I wish the answer was a weekly date night, the real answer is just as important and costs less money. Every week we sit down together for a weekly meeting.
I know. We’re WILD and CrAzY! Those nutso Kedershas, every week sitting down for a weekly meeting. What do the neighbors think? What happens if the kids walk in? And no, weekly meeting is not code for “Business Time” (hopefully that is more than just weekly)…
Rather, every week at 8:30pm on Sunday night, Kristen and I sit down with our calendars/Outlook open and plan and make sure we’re prepared for the week ahead.
While a date night is important and we do make this a priority, we make the weekly meeting an even higher priority because of all it allows for the week ahead. I think I first read about the weekly meeting in the book A Lasting Promise, by Scott Stanley (which happens to be a great book on marital communication and conflict resolution).
Here are six reasons why we do a weekly meeting and why I think you should add it to your marriage as well.
- Schedule: The weekly meeting gives us a chance to look at everything we have going on in the week ahead: sports practices for the kids, work commitments for me and Kristen, meetings, community group and more.
- Every week is different in our morning and evening activities. The kid’s game are on different days/nights of the week. I often have work responsibilities in the mornings, evenings or on weekends.
- The weekly meeting gives us a chance to make sure we are on the same page with a shifting schedule. This helps us feel like we are playing on the same team instead of just handing off kids and going to the next activity. It also helps us know how to pray for one another and the kids.
- Finances: The weekly meeting gives us a chance to look over the budget and finances to make sure we are where we need to be. We don’t do this one together every week (but we do at least once/month). I run point on our day-to-day finances, but we need to make sure we intentionally find a time to discuss giving opportunities, budget, and areas we need to watch closer.
- Short Accounts: I don’t suggest saving your conflict resolution for this time, but the weekly meeting does give you the opportunity to make sure there is no unresolved conflict between the two of you. Ephesians 4:26 says, “do not let the sun go down on your anger.” This does not mean you need to resolve all of your conflict before you go to bed, but it does mean you affirm the priority of the relationship and commit to resolving any conflicts as soon as possible.
- Weekly Questions: If you’re more creative and want to be even more intentional, incorporate some questions like my friends Tim and Emily Loerke do every week.
“Every Sunday Husband and I walk. We talk about lots of things, mostly our faith, our family, and things we are grateful for. But we always ask each other the same five questions.” Emily Loerke
- They call these their Weekly Questions and I think they’re pure gold. You can discuss these face to face or talk through them on a walk with your spouse.
- Husbands lead out: If you make this a priority, I am certain it will bless your wife. Establishing this time gives you an easy opportunity to lead out in your relationship. You may not love this meeting, but in most marriages I think it will encourage and help your spouse. Live with her in an understanding way (1 Peter 3:7) and lead out in your relationship in a way that tells her you love her and value her.
- Prayer: One last suggestion. Some of you would like to pray together as a couple, but you don’t know how. If this is your story, then how about adding a short prayer time to your weekly meeting? It doesn’t need to be complicated, but if you’ve never prayed before with your spouse, just take his/her hands during this meeting, and pray for your week ahead. Don’t make it any more complicated than it needs to be.
I’ve heard it said often that we calendar (schedule) those things that are important to us. For all of the reasons above, I believe you should consider scheduling a weekly meeting. This is not the ONLY thing we do on a weekly or consistent basis, but the fruit that comes out of this meeting is worth a little pre-planning and effort every week.
- Discuss with your spouse if this is something you think would benefit your family. If so, why? If not, then why not?
- If yes, then get your calendar and schedule a time for your first weekly meeting.
- Do you have any similar suggestions for a weekly time/meeting? What else would you include in your meeting?