Scott Kedersha Books

What’s Your Number?

A Book Review of Becoming Us: Using the Enneagram to Create a Thriving Gospel-Centered Marriage, by Beth & Jeff McCord

It’s no secret that a lot of people are interested in and talking about the enneagram. Everyone asks each other, “What’s your number?”. Between the best selling book The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile, podcast series such as the EnneaSummer by Annie Downs on That Sounds Fun, and any quick glance on social media, it seems like the enneagram is everywhere!

That’s partly why I’m so excited about the new book Becoming Us: Using the Enneagram to Create a Thriving Gospel-Centered Marriage by Beth & Jeff McCord. You might know about the McCords through Beth’s popular instagram account, Your Enneagram Coach. In addition, Beth provided commentary on all 9 episodes in Annie’s That Sounds Fun EnneaSummer series this past summer. By the way, I HIGHLY recommend listening to this series!

Focused on the gospel and marriage

I am on the launch team for the book so I’ve been able to read an advanced copy and I was not disappointed. The book is everything it claims to be: focused on the gospel and marriage. The reason I liked this book so much is because it’s obvious the authors love the Lord and want to see couples grow in their marriages, not through tips and tricks but through the gospel. A right understanding of the gospel and God’s design for marriage allows the reader to effectively understand the enneagram and how it affects our lives and marriages.

The book is visually appealing with color-coded font that corresponds to each of the 9 types along with useful charts throughout the book. They provide a wealth of resources online but in this book they share the highlights of their work with the enneagram.

The chapters focus on topics such as communication, conflict, and how to live with your spouse in an understanding way. They always bring the message back to the gospel. Beth and Jeff desire to see God glorified and couples helped through this resource.

This post is live on September 30 and the book comes out on October 1st. The McCords put together some incredible pre-order bonuses that I’d highly recommend checking out. They provide two different tiers for those who pre-order 1-4 copies and for those who order 5 or more copies. Find out more about the great pre-order bonuses on this page.

Who’s the book for and why should I read it?

The book would be great as a small group study, for a couple about to get married, newlyweds, or any married couple who wants to better understand themselves and their significant other. I’m hoping our community group will read this book together.

A better understanding of the enneagram helps you understand:

  • How you most deeply connect with God and the world around you. It helps you understand your key motivations and longings.
  • What motivates your spouse. We all need help understanding what inspires and drives our spouse. Becoming Us can help you help your spouse reach their hopes and dreams.
  • What you and your spouse most fear and how our fears can lead us to poor decisions.
  • Where our spouse is emotionally, especially if they’re experiencing mood swings.

For example, I’m a “2 wing 3” on the enneagram, which means I like to help others, The 3 wing means I like to achieve and get things done. If Kristen and I both understand what it means to be a “2 wing 3,” then we can work together so that I can help others and achieve. At the same time, Kristen can remind me where my true value is found. My worth and value come from Christ alone, not from being a helper or achiever.

Kristen, on the other hand, is a “9” which means she is a peaceful mediator. I can help her by keeping the peace with our four boys. I also help by making sure she knows what a great impact she has on me and others.

The book is a great combination of both a guide to helping you understand the enneagram and a roadmap on how to better understand your own type. It helps you learn how to live with your spouse and their corresponding type. In our premarried class, Merge, we challenge couples to become a student of their spouse. Becoming Us is a great tool to help you be a better student of your spouse so that you can live with them in an understanding way.

I’d also encourage you to check out the audiobook version of the book. I bought the audio version (in addition to paperback) and appreciate that both Jeff and Beth read the book so you literally get to hear both voices.

This book will be my go to resource on the enneagram for many years to come.

Your Turn and Book Giveaway:

I have a copy of the book I’d love to giveaway. I’ll pick one winner from all comments.

  • What’s your number and what’s your spouse’s number?

Contest will close at midnight, October 3rd.

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