Over the last few months, people keep asking me these questions:
How did you decide to write a book and why did you write this book?
Why does the world need another book and why another book on marriage when there are already hundreds of thousands on marriage? Yes, that’s correct: like a number with five zeros after it. Do we really need one more?
When I started working in the marriage ministry at Watermark in 2006, I learned that couples often want recommendations on books. What’s the best book on marriage? Sexual intimacy? Money? Communication? In-laws? And the list goes on and on. I had great recommendations for most of those categories but couldn’t find the right one for premarried couples. Plenty of books existed for couples looking to get married, but I couldn’t find the one I felt great about recommending to others.
Many “Christian” books exist, and while they include great tips and tricks, they didn’t include much scripture. Books many churches use make no references to the Gospel and the name Jesus isn’t even in the books. That doesn’t feel very “Christian” to me. I just don’t know how to even talk about marriage if we’re not referring to and learning from God’s sacrificial love for the church and how marriage is to be modeled after His love. How do you teach about conflict resolution without referencing forgiveness? And you can’t teach biblical forgiveness without referring to God’s blood, shed for us, for the forgiveness of our sins. To be honest, it’s no surprise why the divorce rate is where it is both inside and outside the church when the church offers counsel that doesn’t point back to the cross of Jesus Christ.
So even though I stayed far away from all my English and literature classes in high school and college, I started to work on writing. If I couldn’t find the book, then maybe we (Watermark) needed to write it. Five years ago I started to write, began to develop a passion for it, and finally decided to make this dream a reality.
I set out to write a book that’s biblical, practical, and authentic.
It had to be biblical.
Our society is becoming increasing biblically illiterate, and if we believe God is the creator and designer of humanity and marriage, then we need to learn from Him. The world’s design is broken and we’re all learning from something and someone, whether it’s TV, social media, our parents, friends, or our own previous marriage. We need to learn from the right source. We need to learn from the creator of marriage and trust in His design. As I’ve heard my friend Gary Thomas say, “Marriage is about Jesus and it’s for Jesus.” So go read your Bible, get to know Jesus, and if you’re looking for something else to read about marriage, then check out Ready or Knot?.
It had to be practical.
I’m a “put the cookies on the lower shelf” type of guy. I want to know what to do and how to do it. And I want someone to show me since we so often have poor examples around us. I wrote Ready or Knot? as a practical guide to help couples prepare for and start marriage well. The wisdom in the book applies to all couples, not just premarried couples, but is certainly geared towards helping couples have the right conversations and learn what to do before they say “I do.”
It had to be authentic.
We live in such a fake world that displays a false picture of our lives and marriages. All of us put on a good face and put our best foot forward. We want to impress others and want them to like us. I’d rather we keep it real, where we’re not afraid to talk about both how great marriage is and how challenging it can be at times (Ecclesiastes 9:9, 1 Corinthians 7:28). In the book I interview 12 different couples (one for each of the 12 conversations) and teach through the retelling of their stories. In total, these 12 couples have been married for 314 years and the reader gets to learn from their collective wisdom! The book is candid and encouraging, and I think the reader will be blessed by the authenticity of the stories.
I’m not making any promises.
Ready or Knot? will (k)not fix your life or your relationship. The book does not come with a money-back guarantee that promises you a happy life and marriage. I can’t fix you and a book (outside of the Truths of God’s Word) can’t fix you either.
This book comes from a very broken man who’s constantly reminded of his need for Jesus. I’m reminded often of how often I fall short and how grateful I am for God’s grace. I might be “qualified” to write this book because of my degree and experience, but sometimes my behavior and choices disqualify me (just like it would anyone else).
God uses broken people to do work for His glory. I pray this broken work by a broken (but redeemed) man does exactly that.
Last Chance for Your Pre-Order Bonuses
Today, Monday, February 4th, is the last day you can pre-order the book and get some great pre-order bonuses. I share them in much greater detail in this post, but very high level, if you buy by end of the day on the 4th you get:
- A 7-Day Prayer Guide: 7 Ways to Pray on the Week of Your Wedding
- A 14-page guide: How to Have Your Best Christmas Together: 10 Tips for Couples
- A 6-Part Audio Series with exclusive content to help tie and strengthen your knot. I love the way this series came out! It makes me want to start a podcast.
If you pre-order, please fill out the form on this page so I can get you your bonus items!
If you have any questions, feel free to contact me through the contact page!
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