He who finds a wife, finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22
Consider me favored, for I found a GOOD wife 14 years ago.
The post I wrote to my wife last year on our 13th anniversary called 13 Reasons Why I Love My Wife is my favorite post in 18 months of blogging on this site.
Today, Kristen and I celebrate 14 years of marriage. In honor of 14 years, here are 14 More Reasons Why I Love My Wife:
1. She loves me and our kids when we are unlovable
Kristen is incredibly patient with me and our children and sacrificially loves us even when we are difficult to love. As five boys, we are loud, obnoxious, stinky and stubborn. Yet, she exemplifies Philippians 2:3-4 as she puts our needs before her own.
2. She might love college football even more than I do
I love that we don’t have to fight over Saturday night plans in the fall. College football all day long, from sun-up to bedtime (except when our kids have soccer games). Take out from Central Market, early bedtime for the kids, and snuggle time on the couch for some NCAA football.
3. Kristen gives me time and space to pursue my dreams
Writing takes up a lot of my time and schedule, yet Kristen does a great job of allowing me margin to pursue my dreams and hobbies. She reads my posts before they go live, gives me feedback and shares all my posts.
4. She disciples other women and leads children whose last name is not Kedersha
Kristen takes time to disciple other women by pouring her life into theirs. Younger women love to learn from her and follow her example as she follows Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1, Titus 2:3-5). She knows how to faithfully wound a friend when needed (Proverbs 27:6) and is a woman worthy of respect. A woman she is discipling described her in this way:
“She’s a women worth listening to. I cherish her counsel. I’ve learned the most from her discipleship just by how she lives her life. I’ve learned the most from how she greets you (Scott) at the door and admonishes her children.”
She also leads a group of preschool children in our church’s women’s Bible study. While other women get to take part in large group teaching and small groups, Kristen serves their children and tells them about Jesus.
5. She has some quirks and lets me laugh at them
For instance, Kristen ALWAYS puts the emergency brake on a car. It doesn’t matter if the car is in the garage, on a hill (thankful she does here) or on our flat street. I can always tell when Kristen has driven my car because she parks it with the emergency brake on.
6. She’s quick to apologize and ask for forgiveness
She doesn’t mess up often, but when she does, she quickly humbles herself and apologizes and asks for forgiveness. She is one of the most humble women I know. She doesn’t just apologize, she also does the hard work of asking for forgiveness.
For instance, a few weeks ago, Kristen left the garage door open, her car unlocked and her purse inside the car. Someone walked into our garage and stole her purse. She was quick to apologize and ask for forgiveness. No excuses and no defensiveness. Her humility challenges me.
The good news with the car and the purse? She did have the emergency brake on (see #5 above).
7. She’s not afraid to call me out and challenge me
I love how Gary Thomas says marriage is designed not to make us happy, but to make us holy. One of the gifts of marriage is that God gives us a spouse to help us become more like Jesus Christ. Kristen is not afraid to (lovingly) challenge me to help me become more like Jesus. When I sin, she is merciful, yet firm. She exemplifies grace and truth in the way she helps me grow (John 1:17, Ephesians 4:15).
8. She’s a good steward of God’s resources He has entrusted to us
Money and stewardship of resources can be one of the most divisive issues in marriage. Often a spender is married to a saver, and the differences in handling money can be a big stressor in marriage. Kristen is definitely the saver in the family, and careful stewards the resources God has entrusted to our family (except for her $7.50 mochas from Starbucks…).
9. She has big dreams and she pursues them
After attending the If: Gathering a few years ago, Kristen walked away with a big dream of starting a bible study club for 3rd-6th grade boys in our town. The dream was huge, the resources non-existent and the task list very long. This summer, along with a great team of other moms, Kristen helped lead a summer bible study called ALL IN. I loved watching my wife’s dreams come true as she used the gifts the Lord gave her and the dream stirred in her soul to lead over 150 kids in this study.
The only repeat from last year’s list, but even more true today than it was one year ago. The woman is absolutely beautiful, inside and out. Look at this picture from 1999 (16 years ago), She looks EXACTLY the same. Must be nice…
11. She is a GREAT #boymom
Would Kristen have liked to have had a baby girl? Of course! But, she’s an amazing #boymom. She will throw the football, shoot some hoops, kick a soccer ball, throw a frisbee and play some flag football like nobody’s business! My boys don’t realize the treasure they have in their mom.
12. She’s serious most of the time, but she knows how to laugh
Give the girl a copy of Jen Hatmaker’s For The Love, put on an episode of Friends or watch a Kedersha dance party. Her smile melts me.
13. She is a safe place to share my struggles and hurts
I am the more emotional one in our marriage. I like to refer to myself as the drama queen in the Kedersha household. When I am frustrated with our kids, with work or with my sin, Kristen is always the safest relationship in my life. We get to experience Genesis 2:25 emotional intimacy with one another. I feel no shame with my wife.
14. She is my best friend
Sometimes us married people don’t talk enough about the friendship side of marriage. Kristen is my best friend. She’s the one I want to cry with when I’m hurt/disappointed and she’s the first one I want to talk to when I want to celebrate. I enjoy life with the wife whom I love (Eccliastes 9:9, Song 5:16).
Ladies… if you are looking for a model on how to be a godly wife, mother or friend, look no further than Kristen Kedersha. Happy 14th Anniversary, baby. You will always be my 2nd love.
I said this last year, and I’ll say it again: There is something really fun and encouraging about thinking through the specific characteristics and traits of your significant other that you are thankful for.
1. Write your list. What are some characteristics of your significant other that you love and are grateful for?
- If you have trouble coming up with a list, start small. What are 2-3 things you love about your spouse. Remember back to your wedding day. What made you fall in love initially? Why did you say “I do?” If you’re struggling or want to grow in your marriage, please find a re|engage near you. re|engage will provide you with the hope you need and will help you remember why you said “I do.”
2. Selfish prayer request. Since it’s our anniversary, please pray for me and Kristen. I don’t often ask you to pray for us, but we covet your prayers for our marriage and family. Thank you!
What is something about your significant other that you are specifically thankful for. Share something in the comments below or on Facebook.