Today (September 15th) Kristen Kedersha and I celebrate 16 years of marriage. We’re taking the day off work, and once we drop the kids off at school, we’ll head out for a fun day date together in Dallas.
My goal when I write these is not to copy the list from last year and add one more, but to come up with a whole new list every year. When I sit down to type this out, I ask myself a few questions:
- What are the unique characteristics of Kristen I thank God for?
- How does she make up for my shortcomings?
- What are the things that drive me crazy about her, but might actually be good for me?
- How do I brag about her behind her back to friends?
To my shame, it’s easier, at times, to dwell on the things Kristen does that annoy me. It’s simpler to remember the frustrations and unmet expectations. I’m learning as we mature as a couple, how great I have it, and to remain focused on the countless blessings instead of the finite number of minor frustrations.
Today I share 16 reasons why I love my wife.
1. She’s the most thoughtful person I know.
It’s ridiculous. She thinks of everything in advance. And I’m not just talking about minor, inconsequential details. She remembers what’s going on in our lives and plans in advance how to make sure we dot all the i’s and cross all the t’s. Our family lives would be a complete mess without her.
2. She’s a precious and genuine friend to many.
Kristen listens well, celebrates others, and all who know her love her and cherish her friendship. It’s one of the first characteristics I noticed and was attracted to when we met in 1997. We became best friends before dating so I know why others are drawn to her.
3. She’s a skilled Physical Therapist.
Some of you know this, but Kristen and I are both physical therapists (PT). She was one of my clinical instructors when I went to PT school. Now that our kids are all in school and she has a little more wiggle room in her schedule, she works as a PT every week in a few different environments. She’s empathetic with patients and knowledgeable in all things PT.
4. Kristen is as selfless and sacrificial as they come.
It’s no surprise friends will call Kristen at midnight when they need to take one of their kids to the emergency room. She’ll be the first to drop what’s she doing and help a friend or neighbor in need. I learn so much from watching the way she lives and loves others.
5. She likes La Croix.
It might be a small thing, but I’m grateful we share an affinity for the same non-H2O beverage.
6. She handles the chaos well!
Life has never been busier for the Kedershas and our four boys. Every day after school they have band, sports, small group, tutoring, playdates, and a myriad of other activities. Yet she manages to carpool everyone around, make sure the kids get homework done, and prepare dinner for whichever of the six of us are sitting around the dinner table.
7. She’s a “Low Maintenance” Wife.
I’m grateful for Dr. Russell Moore’s insights on this one!
8. She loves college football.
We reserve Saturdays for kid’s sports and college football. We do our best to watch Gameday together Saturday morning, and then hope to watch as many games together as possible! In the past, when our kids were younger, we’d put them to put as soon as we could (i.e., ideally 4:00 pm haha!). Now that they’re older, we all watch together. She’s mine, and I’m glad I get to keep her.
9. She’s fantastic with my mom when she comes to town.
Even though she’s almost twice the height of my mom, Kristen is so good with her. They love each other and enjoy spending time together. This was especially important this year after my (step)dad passed away.
10. Kristen supported me when my dad died.
She traveled with me to see my family, gave me a shoulder to cry on, and listened when we talked about all the fun memories we had with Mic.
11. She supports my hobby.
Unfortunately, I only have one hobby, and it’s directly related to my job (but I do love it). Kristen encourages me to write and gives me the time and space I need to work on my book and blog. She’ll edit blog posts, offer suggestions, and challenge the way I write or think about different topics.
12. Kristen encourages our family towards “wellness.”
As many of you know, wellness is my biggest, ongoing struggle in my life. Unfortunately, this puts Kristen in a tough spot since she has to, at times, be the food police for me and nudge me out of bed early in the morning. That’s not a fun role for a spouse to have to play, but she does it with great care and mercy.
13. She watches This Is Us with me.
Best show ever. Starts back in less than two weeks!
14. She’s still so attractive to me.
While she looks she hasn’t aged in years (look at our wedding pics for proof), she’s even more attractive than when we said: “I do.” The longer we’re married, the more I see her heart for the Lord, the more I see the Lord’s kindness in her, the more attractive to me she grows. This makes me look forward to the next 16 plus years even more. This is why the writer of Proverbs 31 says, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30).
15. She helps our “marriage cult” grow stronger.
16 years of marriage provides more opportunities for inside jokes, terms of affection, and nicknames. I love that we have our own language over text messages. Yes, it’s PG (or PG-13), but it’s our code to express how much we love each other.
16. She avoids the evil man and the strange woman.
We’re reading through the book of Proverbs right now in Join The Journey. A commentary I’m reading said this about Proverbs 2: “If we receive God’s words and obey them, then we will have wisdom to make decisions, and thus God will keep His promise and protect us from the evil man and the strange woman.” Kristen is like the one described in Proverbs 2 who seeks after wisdom and desires to obey and follow the Lord. She is as good as they come.
Happy 16th, KK. I love you more.
I can’t recommend this exercise enough. Sometimes it’s tough to think of what to say, but check out these questions to get the thought process started:
- What are the things you love about your spouse?
- What makes you say “wow”?
- Or, what attracted you to them in the beginning?
- What makes you laugh with them? At them?
- How has your spouse helped you grow?
For those of you who are not married (and want to be), I hope you get to see and hear how great marriage is. I know many of us who are married often dwell more on the challenges. While these difficulties are legitimate (1 Corinthians 7:28), the upside is even greater. If you desire to get married someday, please don’t compromise this decision.
For those of you who are seriously dating or engaged, please consider joining us at Merge, Watermark’s premarital ministry.
If you’re married and it’s hard to come up with a list of reasons why you love your spouse, I urge you to come join us at re|engage. re|engage is a safe place to work on your marriage in the context of community, under the leadership of a married mentor couple.
I’ll ask for you to please pray for us. I probably don’t do this often enough, but if you’ve made it this far in this post, please thank God, with me, for God’s gift of marriage and pray Kristen and I would honor Him and love each other and love others well as a couple.