Scott Kedersha Marriage

Today (September 15th) marks 15 years of marriage to Kristen Kedersha. In what has become a tradition on our anniversary(three years running), I share a list of reasons why I love my wife (13 Reasons – 2014 and 14 More Reasons – 2015). Each year the list gets easier and more fun to write. While not every marriage moment is celebration-worthy, the good moments are plenty.

I can’t recommend this exercise enough:

  • What are the things you love about your spouse?
  • What makes you say “wow”?
  • What attracted you to them in the beginning?
  • What makes you laugh with them? At them?
  • How has your spouse helped you grow?

We often take our greatest gifts for granted, so sometimes it helps to be intentional and set aside time to reflect and remember why you love your spouse. Aside from my relationship with Jesus, Kristen is the greatest gift in my life. I am so thankful for an amazing 15 years.

1. She’s a FUN mom.

Even though she’s 6 feet tall, she’s a terrible basketball player. But, she hoops it up with our boys in some intense driveway basketball games. She’ll kick a soccer ball, throw a frisbee, pitch a baseball and airball a basketball with the best of them.

2. She lets me have plenty of father-son time.

She lets me take the boys away for father-son weekends and daddy dates to pour into them and to create memories. While I’m away, she carries the rock as she loves our other three boys on her own.

3. She is a gift to get to serve with.

We get to lead other couples together, whether we are teaching at Merge, mentoring young couples, or speaking at family camp. What a gift to be able to serve with her!

golen-heights4. This girl can teach (even about the most uncomfortable topics)!

She can teach a room full of couples about marriage, conflict and sexual intimacy. I don’t know many women who are willing to speak in front of a room of 400 people on the topic of sex. She crushes it every time.

5. She has great taste in TV shows.

We get to enjoy shows like Friends, Friday Night Lights, Parenthood and old seasons of 24 together.

6. She is still ridiculously hot (see #10 from 2015 and #12 from 2014).

I still get butterflies in my stomach when I see her and get to hug and kiss her. It’s not always like this, but I love those (frequent) moments when I take a moment to acknowledge how beautiful she is in every way.

7. She encourages me to grow spiritually and comes alongside me in my struggles with sin.

Kristen doesn’t need to eat healthy or do the Whole 30, but she will to support me. She prays for me and asks me how I’m doing. She cares about my walk with Jesus.

8. She supports my writing hobby.

She does this by praying for me, encouraging me, giving me time away to write and by editing every single post I write (except for this one). Kristen continues to grow as an editor and partner in my writing/blogging.

9. She makes our family fun!

Every year for family camp we get the opportunity to dress up for family theme nights, and she always does a great job of picking out our costumes and figuring out what we’re going to wear as a family.

10. She knows how to do more around the house than I do.

This girl can check tire pressure, mow the lawn, change air filters and so much more. She puts me to shame (and makes her dad so proud)!

11. She loves Jesus with all her heart, soul, mind and strength.

She models a love of Jesus for me, our kids and all who know her. Matthew 22:37-38 says, “And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment.” Kristen models The Great Commandment well.

12. She took some modeling shots in 1997. scanned-pics-of-kk

Most of you don’t know this one (and she might crush me for outing her), but it probably won’t come as a surprise if you have seen her. Kristen took some modeling shots in 1997. She never went forward with any opportunities, but this is too good for me to NOT share. Take a look at these pics. How about that hat and vest!

13. She is loved and respected by her friends.

They describe her as loyal, thoughtful, smart, empathetic, wise, kind, insightful, strong, responsible (on time! ?), faithful, and humble. Yes, yes, and yes.

14. She walks alongside me in the midst of trials.

This past year I have experienced a fair amount of speaking anxiety. She has walked beside me with patience, grace, kindness, love, encouragement, and support. She is evidence of Genesis 2:18: Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

15. She is the most humble person I know.

Kristen is selfless, considerate, thoughtful and kind. She models Galatians 5:22-23 Fruit of the Spirit, a Philippians 2:3-4 humility and a Romans 2:4 kindness. 

Happy 15th, Kristen.

Your Turn:

For those of you who are not married (and want to be), I hope you get to see and hear how great marriage is. I know many of us who are married often dwell more on the challenges. While these challenges are legitimate (1 Corinthians 7:28), the upside is even greater. If you desire to get married someday, please don’t compromise this decision.

For those of you who are seriously dating or engaged, please consider joining us at Merge, Watermark’s premarital ministry.

If you’re married and it’s hard to come up with a list of reasons why you love your spouse, I urge you to come join us at re|engage. re|engage is a safe place to work on your marriage in the context of community, under the leadership of a married mentor couple.

I’ll ask for you to please pray for us. I probably don’t do this often enough, but if you’ve made it this far in this post, please thank God ,with me, for God’s gift of marriage and for pray that Kristen and I would honor Him and love each other and love others well as a couple.

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