Scott Kedersha Marriage

What Happened to Date Night?

I really struggle with making “Date Night” a priority. It’s not because I don’t love or value spending time alone with Kristen, it’s because we’re busy. The kids have sports almost every night. Sometimes I have too much work to do. Other times we can’t find a babysitter, we don’t have the money, and/or life would be so much easier if we had family in town. You get the drift.

I know I did a better job of dating my spouse before we got married. I was creative and did things I knew would impress her and get her to like me. Now that we’re married and I have the girl, I don’t prioritize date night and intentionally pursue Kristen like I used to. And when we do go out, it’s often nothing super creative. Rather, we fall into routines of dinner and/or a movie. The $6 Studio Movie Grill Groupon is always really appealing (and affordable).

A few years ago I read the book, Date Your Wife by Justin Buzzard and connected with his statement on husbands. Buzzard writes, “Men work hard to date and pursue their girlfriend, but once they marry the girlfriend, it all stops. The man who dated, wooed, and passionately pursued his girlfriend degenerates into the husband who merely shares a home, bills, conflict and problems with his wife.” I liked the girl, pursued the girl, got the girl…. and now pay bills and talk about kids with the girl.

I often forget what it’s like to have fun in marriage. Sure, there are fun moments with kids, fun moments in the bedroom, and some laughs in front of the TV, but not like it used to be. Back in the day, we actually did fun stuff together: we ran along Peachtree Road in Atlanta, had long talks about everything, tried new restaurants and traveled.

Boredom steps in…

Dave Carder, author of Close Calls: What Adulterers Want You to Know About Protecting Your Marriagestates that one of the most common characteristics in couples that have affairs is a marriage marked/characterized by boredom. Whether your marriage is boring after years of prioritizing your now adult kids over your spouse, or because you have prioritized work or young kids over your spouse, it’s time to infuse some fun back into your life, marriage, and family.

I love Ecclesiastes 9:9:

Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun.

The writer says to ENJOY LIFE with your spouse!

Ask the question, “How can I make my marriage the most enjoyable, fun, life-giving human relationship around?” I want my marriage to be so much fun and so life-giving that my wife will not need to turn to anyone or anything else for fun.


124 Killer Date Ideas

A few years ago I asked some friends for some creative ideas for dates in Dallas. I am excited to share with you nine pages of ideas for you and your significant other. The list includes indoor and outdoor dates, creative challenges and some suggested classes or lessons to take as a couple. For those of you who live outside of Dallas, I think you will find plenty of great ideas for your hometown as well. Thanks to my friend Jeff Harmon for his help in putting this date night guide together. He is the genius behind the graphics and visual appeal of the guide.

If you’re already subscribed to this blog, you should have the guide already in your paws. If you’re not, then go ahead and click here. When you do, you’ll be asked for your name and email address. That way every new post I write will be delivered right to your inbox. When you subscribe, you will get an email asking you to confirm your subscription. Confirm away and then the Date Night Guide will arrive in your inbox!


In part 2 of this post, I will address some of the common obstacles to fun in marriage. Until then, ask yourselves, “What are some obstacles that keep us from having fun in our marriage?” Also, take some time to remember the fun things you used to do together as a couple. What keeps you from doing those same things today?

One more time in case you missed it: click here to get your 2017 Updated & Revised 124 Killer Date Night Ideas Guide!

Your Turn:

What would you add to the list? Please comment below and I will update the date list periodically. Thanks in advance for your suggestions!

(Click here for parts two and three in this series. See also How to Creatively Date and Pursue Your Spouse)